Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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