So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
