I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
