The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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