I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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