i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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