how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
