My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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