it hurts more in the daytime
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
