Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
