$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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