worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
