how can u be prego again
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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