if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
