is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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