there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
