I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
