I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
