So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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