he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
