I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
