if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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