Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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