where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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