I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
