Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
