I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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