when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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