I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
