she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
