yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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