some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
