once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
