ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
