I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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