Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
