My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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