I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
