We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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