My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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