well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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