just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
