after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
