you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
