Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
