I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
