Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize