I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry about my life...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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