So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
