Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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