She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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