You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
