i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
