peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
