if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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