when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
